CHARACTER

Romans 5:3-4 
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

As a teacher of middle schoolers, one of the biggest things that I push as a teacher and as a coach is character.  As a collective group of coaches, we teach and tell our kids that the definition of character is:

Character: What you do when nobody else is looking.

I was reading something a little while back that actually added an addendum to this definition that I really love as well and have chosen to use it with our guys now.  It says:

Character:  What you do when nobody else is looking, but also what you stand for when people are.

I am seeing the generation of kids coming through now really having a tough time with understanding what character is and how it applies DAILY in our lives.  Many want to so badly be socially accepted that they are willing to abandon what's being taught at home, or abandon what they know is right, just to fit in to the crowd around them. What drives me even crazier is they seem to be drifiting further and further away from having an understanding of what it means to "respect authority" and "live responsibly."

Growing up, I remember my parents always prodding me with having manners. Yes mam, no mam, yes sir, no sir, please, thank you, you're welcome.  As a parent of 3 myself, I now look back at that and know that my parents were not just trying to instill manners in me, they were instilling character traits for the future.  They were teaching me how to respect them and others, so that I would one day "get it" and understand that the same "respectful fear" that I had for them was the same "respectful fear" that God wants us to have in our relationship with Him.  But here is what I am learning more and more.  Somebody has to teach them!  And if we don't take initiative right now and teach them what they need to learn, then they are going to...and many already have... learn it from somewhere else.  It really wrenches my heart with today's kids to know that many are learning what they learn from their tv, their music, their video games, their laptops, which gets them to the internet, which takes them to oh so many dangerous places that we don't want to and cannot even fathom. They don't seem to respect authority or choose to live responsibly now or later because the models that they see through the media aren't good choice makers either.  I will even say that I have noticed what we parents would consider the good channels (Disney, Nick, etc.) to have afternoon shows that portray authority figures (parents, principals, etc.) to be morons whom the kids blatantly disrespect every episode.  Kids will model what they see and today's media does not leave our kids with much good to be modeled.

Yet, I know that there is hope. I ran across the article at the bottom of this blog from Rick Warren who is the Pastor at Saddleback Church in California and also the author of "Purpose Driven Life."  We as parents need to take control over the character being instilled in our children by being the MODEL.  Not by teaching it, and preaching it, and beating it into our kids, or timing it out of them. :)  But by being daily, visible, consistent, real models for them to follow.  My oldest is 5 and he sings what I sing, he says what I say, and he goes to places talking about the things that I talk about.  He hears and soaks up every stinking word and thing that happens in life that he sees come out of the life of dad.  If as a father that doesn't motivate you, then WOW. 

But I believe the message also goes further.  As a Godly father to my children, I am responsible for teaching them, molding them, modeling for them, and helping guide them through life to find God's will in their life, and helping them get to a point where they have a chance to know the Lord personally.  I cannot make the decision for them, but I can and always will point them to the cross. 

God looks and says the same thing to us as adults.  He sent Jesus to this earth in order to teach us, to be a model for us, to be a guide for us, and ultimately be a sacfrifice for us.  There is no greater demonstration of love to be found anywhere else. John 3:16

So why do we not use the model given to us to be the model for others?  "Others" could especially be our own kids, could be the neighbors kids, could be the kids at the church.  Or maybe as adults, we could be the model to the newlyweds who have no idea what's coming, or the model to the friends that are struggling as parents, or even the model to the couple we know who are struggling with their marriage.  Why can we many times not take the model God gave us and let Him help us model for others? Some excuses many times used are laziness, apathy, fear, stubbornness, pride..... The list could go on. 
But I think a call to action is needed. 
If every parent decided right now to make a recommitment...... a recommitment that could go to many things and many places.  I think you first start with your relationship with the Lord.  If it's not where it needs to be, make a recommitment and get it right.  Then to your spouse.  Recommit and get it right.  To your kids.  Recommit and get it right. The list could extend to your church, your workplace, your friends, wherever.  Let God show you who/what/where you need to recommit to and get it right.

This world can use better parents and better models.  It will produce kids with better character who will utlimately become the better parents and models of the next generation. Don't wait, start now.
As you will see in Rick Warren's title below.  Character is not what you do, it's who you are.
I think a key point to be made is that I don't want people to know me as just a person with good character, but I want folks to know that the good character that comes out of me is because I want to live like Jesus.
That should be the focus and goal reached for daily!

(If the article below doesn't show up well on your screen, then just click the title below.)

Character: It's Who You Are, Not What You Do by Rick Warren

“It is in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for … part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.” Ephesians 1:11 (MSG) Our children need to know that the person they become is more important than what they do. Why? Because they won't take their career into heaven, but they will take their character. One of the greatest responsibilities a parent has is helping shape their children’s character. What we say and do, how we live our lives, models character to our children. But sitting down with our children and having conversations with them about their character is even more important. Our children need to know that the person they become is more important than what they do. We spend so many years preparing our children for their future careers when we should be preparing their character. Why? Because they won’t take their career into heaven, but they will take their character. The book of Philippians tells us, “In your lives you must think and act like Jesus Christ” (Philippians 2:5 NCV). When we do this we are preparing our character for eternity in heaven. So we need to teach our children that this life is preparation for the next. It’s the “get ready stage”.  Our time here on earth with its good times and challenging times is where we learn all of the lessons that grow us up in character to become more like Christ.  It’s the time that matures us spiritually so when we get to heaven we aren’t spiritual babies. We need to talk to our children and let them know life is not always easy, that they should expect to be tested. They will be tested every year of school. They will be tested when they get out of school. They will be tested in their career, their marriage, and in parenting their own children. Every situation they encounter in life, good or bad, will be a character-building opportunity. “Don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the other. With these qualities active and growing in your lives … no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus” (1 Peter 1:5-6 MSG). These are the qualities that make up godly character. Take those verses and have your children memorize them so they can begin to work on those areas in their lives for the rest of their lives. If they do, the Bible says they’ll become more like Jesus.

http://www.transformerstochrist.blogspot.com/