Psalm 127:3
"Children are a gift from the Lord."
I just finished a book my buddy Troy gave me entitled "She Calls Me Daddy" by Robert Wolgemuth. Great read!! I highly encourage any dad out there who has a princess or princesses at home to get this book. It is very practical, but also very humorous with many of the life stories that he passes on.
The meat of the book gives dads of daughters 7 things they really must know and own up to:
1.) Protection - Daughters will never gain a sense of security unless we as dads have it ourselves. We need to protect them physically and emotionally, in a way that allows them to learn how to grow without overdoing it and stifling growth. I think the most important thing in this section is knowing that we need to be available to them always! Little girls are always looking for a prince. As a dad to a 3 yr old, I know that I am that prince and cherish that role. But one day, that role will be passed on. We need to make sure that until then, we know how to protect our daughters and make sure that they know they are looked after and feel protected.
2.) Conversation - Talk to your daughter at every stage of life. Teaching her how to communicate when she is little will help later on in life with the communication pipeline. Read to her, take her on errand runs with you, teach her to play verbal tennis (I loved this analogy!!), and look for special places and times to have daddy daughter time. I know that I don't do this enough with Lala. We have done some fun things together such as Disney Princesses on Ice, but I don't do it nearly enough. My son, who is 5, is the one who is daddy's shadow and wants to go everywhere and do everything daddy does. I need to learn to leave him home sometimes and take Lala with me to encourage that conversation and closeness. But my Lala loves to talk and sing. That's for sure!! :)
3.) Affection - Know how to hold your daughter and know that touching is the key to her heart. Touch her with hugs and kisses, but also touch her with words of affection. Make sure that we know the difference in giving gifts to be generous vs genuine affection which is mostly spelled out with T-I-M-E. I love to hug and kiss mine. They are such a precious gift and every day is a gift given to teach them and love them and raise them up the way the Lord wants them to be raised. Where I need to improve is affection with words. I need to learn how to talk to Laura Grace when I am correcting her in a way that doesn't damper her spirit. Not making an excuse of it at all, but being a coach for 9 years, that's a tough one for me. I many times talk to her like I talk to Caden or talk to the boys and she is not emotionally built that way. I have to learn how to say it in a better way and know that the Lord will help me with this.
4.) Discipline - Remember that good discipline involves the positive and the negative. Teach that discipline is it's own reward. But most important is to make sure our own life matches our words. Kids are smart. They observe everything. Even the little ones know when you are genuine and when you are blowing smoke. This is the toughest of the 7, hands down, I would say. Discipline involves work. There is no room or time to be lazy when it comes to discipline. Inconsistent discipline leads to inconsistent behavior. Plain and simple. Communicate. Set boundaries/fences. And hold the troops down inside those fences. They jump a fence, they get roped back in. Figure out what it takes to rope them back in. But what we can never do is let them increase the size of the fences or sit and watch as they jump a fence and go, "Oh well. They'll come back." That's never going to end well. Be consistent and persevere. My house is nowhere near perfect when it comes to discipline, but I know what my house looks like when I have been lazy with discipline and what it looks like when I am consistent with discipline. Put in the work because the latter is a much nicer place to live. :)
5.) Laughter - Victor Borge says "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." Be fun to live with and not a grump. I battle this in my life many times. I, sometimes, let the pressures of life suck out lots of my joy and that plays itself out in my house. Be able to laugh at yourself and have fun with your daughter. Wrestle and tickle them, make them squeal, draw with them, play a game with them. Have fun and enjoy them, especially when they are young, because they will be grown and gone before you can blink an eye. Laura Grace and I love to wrestle. Many days I barely make it through the door before I hear and see a little blonde girl saying "Wrestle wif me daddy!!" She also loves to read books. She may not be able to read the book to you word for word, but she can tell you a story based on what she sees and thinks is happening. :) I also love the fact that she is "Tomboyish." She loves to be outside playing and she is not afraid of getting dirty, or touching fish, or riding a scooter down the hill 90 miles per hour. She is what I would call my sweaty princess. LOL
6.) Faith - Love this quote by Daniel Sargent: "The great door sighs, then opens, and a child enters the church and kneels at the front pew. The Maker of the Universe has smiled. He made the church for this one interview." Makes me smile everytime I read it. The faith of a child is a wonderful thing. Our job as dads is to make sure that your faith is "normal." Not something you just do on Sundays. It's about who you are and how you live your life in front of her and others. Teach her how to pray and teach her how to hide His Word in her heart. Train her up to be a Godly woman and one day she will have a moment where she will be there to teach you. Even at 3, Laura Grace is able memorize scripture and has even learned all the books of the New Testament. We make sure that we always model our faith with her and the other two every night before we go to bed. We read a story from their kids Bible, we have a memory verse each week, and we pray together. I don't write this to brag and say look at us. I write this because I want to be an encouragement to others. We have not always done this at my house. It really just began around December. We should always live a life that is a model for them, but I highly encourage you to find a specific time with your kids each day to model your faith for them and with them. Be intentional with teaching them the ways of the Lord. I think there is not better or easier time than bedtime. Read them a story, teach them a verse, and then pray together before bedtime. There is no better time of the day for our family than bedtime. :)
7.) Conduct - Make sure you set up fences so clear expectation are available for her. Remember that conversation is still a big key. Help her to know how to conduct herself in different situations such as adult gatherings vs fun gatherings. Teach her how to respect authority which helps her to learn to respect herself. Most important is to understand that you as dad set the bar with what's to be expected with conduct. She wants a model that teaches her how to treat and respect people, and she will follow the model. Model well! Because my little girl is only 3, I am still in the early stages of this. We do train ours up to have manners, but still have a long way to go. I look forward to opportunities ahead to teach her. I want to put my kids in situations that teach them how to act and react to different things. Situations like taking them to the park to interact with other kids, public school will be a test of it's own, super fancy dinners where we meet new people, weddings, etc. All of these will be good teaching opportunities. Challenging but worth it!
So consider that your outline. :) It has much more to offer throughout each section and really challenges every man with little girls to be a great daddy. I think it starts with WANTING to be a great daddy before you can do what it takes to actually be one. I pray that every dad out there will man up and be the dad that God has called us to be, so that our little girls will grow up knowing what to look for in a Godly man and never settle for less. And as daddies, the best thing that we can do is Live Like Jesus!
No comments:
Post a Comment